Personal Narrative

For the first three years of my life, the only sounds that made it out of my mouth were screams. At three years old, my doctors identified a submucous cleft palate that affected my ability to hear and speak. While the cleft palate was quickly repaired, my speech was not as fast to fix. 

 

For most of my childhood, I was in intensive speech therapy. I attended weekly sessions, with my parents paying out of pocket for me to continue it during the summer so I wouldn’t lose my progress. In elementary school, I struggled with reading and sounds as I tried to catch up to my peers’ abilities to speak. And while I graduated from speech therapy in third grade, my story did not end there—it feels as though, since then, there has always been something going on with my mouth, whether it be an expander, titanium plates, pulled adult tooth, Invisalign, braces, double jaw surgery, etc. 

 

Seventh grade was the school year of masks, social distancing and quarantining, the time of an expander and screws in my mouth and my first year on a yearbook staff. The largest part of our middle school yearbook was interviewing—which terrified me. Beyond just being anxious about talking to people I didn’t know, I did not have confidence in my speaking ability. I was worried about mumbling, stumbling over my words and not making sense. However, I still had a job to do. Over the year, I grew gradually more comfortable and confident in getting interviews, to the point where I started to enjoy them. I loved getting to hear and share people’s thoughts, opinions and experiences.

 

I decided to continue with journalism and joined the junior high’s newspaper staff in eighth grade. I started to really learn photography and Photoshop, and took photos at as many events as possible. I pushed myself even further with interviewing,  talking to important people like Bryant’s assistant superintendent of secondary education. Throughout the year, I challenged myself to do and learn more. 

 

In ninth grade, I switched to the yearbook staff and became a photography editor. The prior two years, I had trouble connecting with my fellow staff members due to continued anxiety over seeming dumb or awkward, as they were people I saw everyday, not just doing a single interview with. I cared about what they thought of me. I decided to push myself to actually connect with this staff, especially considering my position as a photography editor. I pushed through my anxieties with my mouth—at the time, an adult tooth taken out and Invisalign with a painted tooth to hide it while straightening my teeth—as I talked to the people around me, assigned photographers for events, helped others complete spreads and picked out photos.

 

In March, my adviser, Meag Abo, encouraged me to apply as Young Aspiring Journalist of the year. There was a week until the application was due, and I worked diligently to compile my work and write essays. Abo submitted it for me, and I forgot about it until April. I vividly remember the night I found out I won. Abo called to tell me that she just found out I was the first runner-up for Young Aspiring Journalist of the Year. I was floored—I thought my application was a shot in the dark and was elated to find out I was a finalist. I was overjoyed. This made me realize that I could actually do strong, impressive things in journalism and inspired me to continue in it and strive to learn even more.

 

The jump to high school was huge. It was a completely different environment, with more students, a bigger campus and a staff full of strangers. As opposed to the more freestyle junior high book creation, I now had a partner and two-week deadline cycles. 

 

My first partner and I struggled. We had two spreads for our first deadline. Despite dividing the work between us, she turned in nothing. On our deadline night, where we worked until an editor checked off our spreads, I was alone, but I knew how important the deadline was, so I did it all. It was hard, but I made sure we got it done.

 

This is a hard time for me to remember. I was incredibly stressed, tired and sad all of the time. On the Monday after the first deadline, the adviser, Justin Turner, held “marriage counseling,” where partners discussed with him how to improve any problems. We decided that we would make sure to communicate more in writing (to keep a record), she would be more responsive, sit by me and off of her phone, and we would go through the checklist together, so I could teach her what everything meant. But things did not pan out that way. Again, I ended up alone late on the second deadline night. Shortly after this, I actually started counseling, as I was not doing well mentally.

 

I knew I needed to communicate with the advisers, so that weekend, I sent Turner an email, listing out the struggles in detail. Thankfully, Turner recognized my struggles and said he and the coadviser, Colton Croy, had already decided to change up partnerships. 

 

I did far better with counseling teaching me how to manage my stress and other problems and a new partner to share the work with. Throughout the year, I ended up teaching other staffers how to work Illustrator and Photoshop, and I helped the editors when they had to take over several spreads. I was always in the yearbook room (after I completed my other classwork) and took photos at as many events as I could. I got to take pictures at our big rivalry game, the Salt Bowl, other football games, pep rallies, concerts, classes, etc. I loved creating spreads and breakers, and learning all of the new skills I could. Halfway through the year, I often didn’t even have to stay late on deadline nights, as I would be done by 5 p.m. at the latest. 

 

Despite the hard start, that  year I did it all: interviewing, writing, photography and designing. It flamed my passion for journalism, and only made me want to do more.

 

At the end of the year, I applied for editorship and became a coeditor-in-chief. I designed to my heart's content with cover, endsheets, theme spreads and breakers. I continued taking photos everywhere and at all times. I worked with three fellow editors-in-chiefs to develop a theme and lead our staff. Through helping staffers work through difficult deadlines, counseling groups that weren’t getting along, and working to make sure my own group of fellow editors were working well together, I learned how to more clearly communicate and deal with conflict.

 

In my time as an editor, I have strived to make helping staffers my priority. I know what it feels like to be alone on a deadline night,  get all of your interviews alone, write your story alone, etc. I don’t ever want my staffers to feel that same way if I can help it. So, I will help them develop a plan and a timeline, get what interviews I can, take photos they need, write a mini story when they don’t have photos for caption quotes, etc. My staffers work hard, and so I will match their effort so they can complete good spreads.

 

I also joined the sports broadcasting staff junior year. The advisor, Michael Westbrook, had been trying to convince me to join the prior spring, and I wanted to expand my skillset beyond print.

 

I came on as the main graphics person. I taught myself how to use NewBlue Titler to enhance our sports livestream graphics and volunteered to create thumbnails to improve the YouTube channel. It was challenging, yet fun, designing in a style I was not used to. Sports designs have a very different style from my personal graphic design aesthetic and the yearbooks I’d helped create. I leaned into subtle gradients, color overlays and diagonal lines and made a unique look for Hornet Media Sports . 

 

I wanted to branch beyond print and graphics, so I started creating broadcast sports stories. Unlike yearbook and newspaper, I feel like broadcast did not come naturally to me. I’ve made several mistakes with audio, framing, etc., but I have worked tirelessly to fix them. I’ll go reinterview a person, capture more b-roll and dedicate more time so I can make the story look as good as I can. The time spent fixing my errors cements those rules into my mind, and has helped me grow in my broadcasting abilities. 

 

Unlike print, a big part of broadcast is audio. I've produced my assigned stories with a group, and I've independently created extra stories to expand coverage. So, even if several takes are needed to get my reporter line out of my mouth correctly, I voice the scripts I write instead of having another person do it for me. The biggest way I have pushed myself in broadcast, though, is anchoring two hours on a six-hour livestream—a task that involves filling up space with talking, live interviews, and hosting games. I was terrified to do this, to the point where I couldn’t eat or drink. I just kept thinking, “What if I mess up on live video?”  Regardless, it turned out fine. I even did it again senior year after an anchor dropped out on the day-of. This helped me face my fear of speaking in front of large audiences, leading to me being able to teach workshops to my staff members, journalism students and adult advisers at state and national events, like the JEA/NSPA conventions in Nashville and Minneapolis.

 

Junior year ended with a banquet full of the staff I loved, and excitement for the upcoming staff and my final year of yearbook and broadcast. I planned the banquets with the other EICs. We were in charge of everything, from building the menu and budget, planning activities, making decorations, etc. We do this as a way to appreciate the staffers’ hard work, recruit and retain members, gain parental support and recognize the achievements from throughout the year.

 

As an editor, senior year has been very different from junior year. I now know all of my expectations, roles and jobs as an EIC, with a new major focus of training the two junior EICs in all that I have learned.

 

I’ve taken all that I learned from junior year and applied it to everything I do. In yearbook, we’re tougher on checklists and proofs, so that every spread looks appealing, even if it’s a “boring” topic. We editors discuss everything, and then ensure every staffer is in the loop. There are four editors-in-chief again this yer, and we’ve split up into pairs, switching every three deadlines, so that the other senior editor and I can share what we know with the junior editors. We’ve split partner groups between us, and do daily check-ins to make sure they’re on track, and catch any confusion or miscommunications as early as possible. In broadcast, I’ve revamped our scorebugs and graphics to be more appealing, have taught others the graphics basics and only improved in creating stories. 

 

In the summer between junior and senior year, I went through double jaw surgery, a culmination of all of the medical work I’d been through in my life. I had braces for months before, and had been building up to the surgical wire and stainless steel ties necessary for surgery.

 

Recovery was difficult. I was hungry all of the time, but stuck on a liquid diet. I was tired, my face and neck were incredibly swollen, and I missed being able to hang out with all of my friends. Double jaw surgery has a roughly six week recovery timeline, with other parts taking longer. I had surgery two weeks before the yearbook camp (where we pick our theme) and four weeks before the first week of school.

 

It’s a little crazy looking back at it now, but at the time there was no way I was missing the yearbook camp days. It was just two days at the school, teaching basic and advanced skills, picking a theme and team bonding. I was off of the heavy pain medication at the point, able to eat some small solid food and allowed to drive. And so I came, swollen cheeks and smoothie in hand. I didn’t speak as much as I wanted to, as it made my jaw tired, but I was as involved as I could be. 

 

Not every minute in my journalism career has been easy, but every minute has been rewarding. I’ve pushed through anxieties and painful mouth changes. I’ve dealt with handling a huge workload alone. I’ve made mistakes and put in the time to fix them. I’ve dedicated hundreds of hours to taking pictures at every event possible. I’ve learned four different design programs, and developed a style for a budding sports media program. I’ve memorized countless keyboard shortcuts and Adobe tricks. I’ve managed staff conflict, and learned how to be a leader. I’ve made life-long friendships.

 

Journalism has shaped who I am, helped me discover my passions and laid a path for my future. I would not be the person I am today if I hadn’t applied for that seventh grade yearbook staff.